Christmas in Moclips

Since 1998, mom, Luke and I had been visiting a little coastal town named Moclips for the holidays.  It was always our little escape from all the hustllin’ and bustlin’, and it gave us grounds to lean that much deeper into ourselves, where we channeled utter silliness, indulged in a gratifying laziness, and treated ourselves beyond our perceived means; all while breathing in the clean, salty ocean air and hearing the ever-present lapping currents and roaring waves.

Of course, I didn’t perceive these moments as deeply as I perhaps do now.  But a recent trip with ma and little Chloe this Christmas invoked a depth of certain solace familiar to that of the early days.  

Since Luke died, we have made a few little trips to Moclips over the years – but this is the first time in over a decade (to my knowledge) that we really, truly granted ourselves the time and space to let go, release, and channel that bonafide childlike ease and contentment from the ol' trips of past.  Even to the extent that it felt like Luke was there with us in tangible form, beyond spirit.

We played games; we dined out; we traversed the vast, uninhabited shoreline each day; we made art; we indulged heartily; we slept in; we hosted surprise guests; we caught up with Mr. Wacky and bought trinkets in the Somers favorite, “Wacky Warehouse;” we shared gifts; we laughed until we couldn’t breathe.  We even extended our stay to delay the inevitable just a bit more.

Driving back to the city, I felt a familiar, abrasive whoosh of energy that, when left unchecked, has the tendency to stifle that sense of veritable love and presence that ma, Chloe and I touched in Moclips.  The shift can feel rather abrupt, yet it is amid such transitions that we are afforded lessons to (re)discover just how meaningful these experiences are; to embrace our societally (and self) perceived faults – and celebrate them; and to cherish and find stillness the spaces in between. 

We did just that.

Much love to you, mom, for sharing that experience with me, and for being an exceptional mother and human.

Much love and happy new year, everyone ❤